


No Longer a Virgin

by OrangeZest100



Series: Paintings of Bruising Purple [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Dubious Consent, M/M, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeZest100/pseuds/OrangeZest100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time cements the rest of their relationship.</p><p>Part 3 of "Paintings of Bruising Purple" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Longer a Virgin

                The first time anything happens, Sam doesn’t speak for a week.  In hindsight it is such a small thing, one smack to the face during a small fight that sets Sam’s eyes to stinging and his instincts on alert.  It’d been something stupid, maybe Sam had left dirty clothes on the floor or Lucifer hadn’t washed out their good pot, but the point is that it happened.  If Sam thinks to hard he can still feel Lucifer’s palm on his cheek, the sting of pain along his nerves.  His boyfriend’s been trying to apologize all week, getting his favorite foods and buying him gifts, but Sam ignores them all, avoids him if he can.  Sam spends more time with his friends Jessica, Gabriel, and Andy.  They’re hanging out in Jess’ apartment and Sam’s already ignored three texts from Lucifer since he got here; he’s glad that Jess has banned Andy from smoking his pot in here so he doesn’t have to get any kind of high.  He knows enough about what drugs can do to a man’s head to ever go there.  They’ve been sporadically doing homework in between conversations but its 11:30 PM and Sam has class tomorrow at 9.  Jess gives him a giant hug while Andy just slaps him on the back with a lopsided smile.  Gabriel ushers him into his clunker car, turning the engine over to make a sound like an angry bear before heading out to Sam and Lucifer’s apartment.  Sam half-trips out of the passenger side onto the sidewalk with a smartass comment from Gabe following him.  Sam turns just in time to flip Gabe off as he drives away.  Laughing, Sam opens the door, lays his bag on the ground, throws his keys in the side table in the entrance hall, and shrugs off his jacket before he feels it like someone has clicked a button.

                Sam doesn’t move as the swish of Lucifer’s dress pants shifts closer until there’s breathe on the back of Sam’s neck.  “Look at me Sam.”  The Winchester continues to ignore him, toes off his shoes instead, and almost falls over when Lucifer spins him around in his socks.  There’s a barely veiled fury there, like a flash blizzard hiding behind blue eyes and blonde hair.  Sam’s seen something like it from his Dad before, but John’s was more like a forest fire or a flash flood, and he always left when it got close to that breaking point.  Lucifer’s hands are like mechanical clamps on his arms, and it hurts, but Sam won’t show it.  Lucifer doesn’t own him.  “You think I wanted this?”  Sam doesn’t see it, sees anger, pain, and maybe fear in Lucifer’s eyes and he’s relaxing into Lucifer’s hands without his permission.  “God, you think I want you to go to them?  They don’t love you Sam, not like I do, not like I _can_.”  Lucifer’s close to Sam’s face, grip on his arms getting really painful now, and Sam can clearly make out the muscle jumping in his boyfriend’s jaw.  “I can’t be alone again Sam, you know that.  You’re the only one like me, there is no one else, and I can’t lose you.”  Lucifer’s kiss is brutal but Sam can handle some neediness, God knows he’s needy himself, so he kisses back as Lucifer’s attempts to get as close to Sam as he possibly can.  It’s when the hard line of Lucifer’s dick is against Sam’s thigh that he starts to panic.  He’s still a virgin; he isn’t ready for this and he tries to pull backwards only to get a few millimeters before being held fast.

                “They don’t love you, those _friends_ of yours,” Lucifer whispers.  “How could they?  Look at you, too tall and selfish in ways you don’t even realize yet.  They don’t love you like I do Sam; I love _all_ of you.  What about Dean, Sam?”  Sam struggles again, avoids eye contact until Lucifer pulls Sam head back by his hair to stare him straight into his eyes with a gaze like razor blades.  “Has he said anything to you Sam?  He _left_ you, he doesn’t _need_ you, but I do Sam.  I’ll never leave you, never.”  Sam tries to ignore that; Dean had begged him to stay, but he can’t help that voice in the back of his head that murmurs about the idea.  Sam’s just some poor kid with no family, basically no possessions, all alone on the island that is the California’s Stanford University.  They should pity him, and what has he ever done that’s actually kind; his family is full of ruthless jerks whose only goal is to get as much money for a job as possible.  They’re honest but as prices go they’re con-artists, get as much money for your time as possible, exaggerate.  He’s so far down the moral totem pole but Lucifer wants him.

                “Say it,” Sam says quietly, eyes closed and trembling all over, hating himself for letting himself become this.  “Say it please,” he whispers, and they’re still too close for comfort; Sam ends up breathing it into Luke’s mouth instead.

                “I love you Sam,” Lucifer says, following the statement with a tongue up the side of jaw to his ear.  “I love you.  Love you with everything I have and I’m _never_ letting you leave me.”  Something in Sam gives up completely, and he collapses slightly, so Lucifer’s arms hold him up, loosen their grip slightly.  Lucifer starts muttering praise into Sam’s ear, into his neck, leading him in his placating state to the bedroom, helps Sam out of his shirt, but when Lucifer starts undoing his belt Sam panics again.  Lucifer shushes him gently.  “You’ll be okay Sam, you’ll enjoy it I promise.  I’ll be careful okay?  You’ll like it.”  So Sam lets him take off his clothes because doesn’t want to be _alone_ again, he can’t be alone again.  For all of Lucifer’s fury, he does take it fairly slow, lube and prep is extensive but Sam’s dick is still flaccid and he holds little-to-no-interest in this, not now, but Lucifer ignores it.  He pushes in a bit too fast, not enough to tear but enough to choke pained gasps out of Sam, doesn’t bother letting Sam adjust before he’s thrusting.  Sam screams in pain, scrambles in the sheets, scratches at Lucifer’s skin but that only seems to encourage him, growling low in his throat.  When Lucifer’s done, Sam hurts everywhere, tears hanging from his cheeks, tucked into Lucifer’s chest.

                “You won’t leave now right?  Like you promised?”

                “Of course not, why would I ever leave you.”  Sam struggles down the hall to the shower, sits on the floor and starts scrubbing himself raw, broken sobbing and hyperventilating becoming sounds to fill the air.  Sam close to bleeding when Lucifer shoves into the shower, tucks Sam back against his chest again.  “Shush baby doll, we’ll be fine.” 


End file.
